representing all white men

so i just finished reading a book called gringo by chesa boudin (he dated nat portman, oh my), and i can't help but think of what a ridiculously anglo-franco mash-up name chesa boudin is. chesa sounding like some cockney knock off of chaz, meaning charles to the rest of us. the any name with the _ou_i_ structure looks french to me (and then i start humming faux du fa fa, because fotc really knows how us anglophones think of the french language). it's as though boudin's parents tried to think up the whitest name possible -- and succeeded.

even though he does try to highlight the plight of mothers and children living in poverty, his exploration of the topic is understandably y-chromosomed. i know it was meant to be in a memoir format, but his brief tales of girlfriends and relationships sounds kind of cringey when he recounts how sexy one was the first time he met her (on an amazonian ferry boat). his whole stance on 'i care about the plight of mothers, children and families -- but i have no problem biting off a sexy bit for myself' gives me a case of the eye-rolls. i guess i doubt his altruism when he apparently feels entitled to personally gain from his devotion to the cause. i mean, if that's how he feels -- fine, whatever -- but your attempt to weave ideological and emotional threads came out more tacky than humble. 

i think this book is a modest start, and there's more to be expected of him. i think he can do better, get into it deeper, or at least express that personal aspect of his experiences. the politics are so tactical, onerous roll-calls of attendance, accounting for time... even though he does his best to leave an update of all in his narrative subjects at the end, his conclusion comes to the non-conclusive statement that this is just the beginning of what's happening politically in south america -- how this will develop will be seen only with time. he doesn't lead us, he doesn't give us a final thought.

there's something a bit douchey about the whole 'i'm a white guy but look, i can travel just like the locals! blah blah blah!' yea, we bet it sucks, but stop acting like such a war hero about it. yes, i've used rather dangerous public transit in my travels, but i do tend to take costlier options if they're genuinely safer. some ways of getting around are pretty damn dangerous and it's a bit foolish to play martyr about transit if you don't have to. you're supposed to use whatever you can to self-preserve, that's one of those key instincts, you know?

for instance, when i was traveling in peru, we were in a combi (van) driving rather fast (50 mph) down a valley road, lit only by mediocre headlights. we nearly t-boned a hugh truck hauling large boulders that seemed to be just sitting in the middle of the road. luckily i was in a situation where my transportation was on the safer end of the spectrum and we didn't crash. but i was in a bench seat with no seat belt, and i slammed into the seat in front of me. had i been in a less secure transport vehicle, i could have been in a multi-fatality crash. 

and how are you going to help people if you're dead? yes, be with the people, know what they experience, but remember what you're there to do as well. 

getting back to the point of boudin lacking a conclusion, we want to be lead -- bait us! people love a little gossip, your speculation is welcome.

it's not that i'm really a hater, because boudin's book is quite herculean task he's already pulled off. you can tell he's a rather bright guy, but his narratives are saturated with his issues (like the rest of us). then again, that's interesting because it's not every day i get to look at the world through the eyes of someone who repeatedly refers to himself as politically radical. sometimes it's those at the extreme ends that you find the saddest ideologies, these passionate idealists. is it just me, or do those types seem to always have one eye looking in the mirror? or maybe i'm just that bitter. well, the guy is doing what he believes, and that's better than a lot of us as is. 

maybe it's more that i envy him having a book actually written. god knows i have the material, and enough people have made that suggestion, and yet i tell myself that i don't know where to begin, so i don't. sigh.