fb says this is too long to be a status update

just watched critical mass ride down w georgia st into the stanley park causeway, turning a light, quiet traffic flow into a bunged-up nightmare. i work a mile away from home and either walk or take electric buses on a daily basis; i probably spend less than 3 hours a month using gasoline-fueled transportation. i'm all about lifestyles conductive to reducing carbon emissions. vancouver has wide-spread bikelanes, one of the best systems in north america! so what kind of assholery is clogging up major traffic routes during rush hour? i'd be pretty pissed if cars were driving on sidewalks. anyways - THAT'S ENOUGH, HIPSTERS.

vancouver 2010: a local reflects

[disclaimer: i have no sporting or entertainment event pictures as i was a poor student with an uncertain future when the ticket lotteries started in 2008. also, i didn't see a point in waiting hours in line so that i could gain entrance to provincial/country themed 'houses' where visitors were packed in like sardines and over-charged for drinks and snacks -- granville avenue was the same, but for free.]

upon realizing i would be moving to canada, i thought i would pick up french by osmosis. looking at this sign in thinking about my american friends, i can now admit that i have not only not absorbed any french past 'tabernac!', living in canada has made me a better skimmer. i expect to be confused by product titles on consumer packaging ('wtf do strawberries have to do with fraise-r?'), so when it's in english on the first read it's like getting extra time back in my life. [i estimate i allot myself 30 seconds per day of mistakenly reading french when expecting english. and that shit adds up.]

so everyone lost their shit when it was revealed that the olympic flame cauldron would be kept behind secure fencing. for fuck's sake people -- what do you want? do you want to stand right under the flames and stare up, causing black spots in your vision after you stare with crazed olympic obsession for 20-30 minutes? i ascended the viewing platform, where i took this photo -- that thing was radiating major heat.

and you know that if the cauldron wasn't secured, plenty of idiots from around the world would compete to prove who would get drunk enough to try climbing that thing. burns, on the other hand, would be a nice change from the usual injuries associated with the winter olympics.

lightning round: spot the less-desirable-than-normal spelling!

i sure have a nice walk home from work.

love love love

mountie texting. [or if he's an early-adoptor (for someone 40+) perhaps mountie sexting?]

this has nothing to do with the olympics. it's just a photo of moonrise over my hood.

i think i can count 5 cliches here: moose, maple leaf, o canada, red & white schematic, and the smell of desperation that makes people like my mom write emails saying patronizing things like 'well, i'm glad they won the gold medals in hockey -- since it means so much to them' because canadians know americans tend to forget about canada and canada will not be forgotten!

boxing beaver at the corner of cambie and broadway. is this some kind of hbc symbolism that escapes me because i'm not canadian?

so saskatchewinians come from a bubble eh.

i propose this thing be canada's answer to the peace arch.

proof that this creek is false.

this guy stirred up quite the hub bub. some random lady on the sidewalk told us it was a former canucks player. that is a pretty big deal around these parts.

anything that makes america look less dumb by proxy is always welcome in my book.

whoever decided to put the porta potties on the traffic median at drake and pacific gets an a+ in my book.

yea, mid-february is about a month too early for the cherry blossoms. heck of a show, though.

i was originally drawn to the bizarre space-elvis, but wow -- those tan pants are the real riot.

sometimes i wonder what future generations will make of this sort of thing...

... and these guys...

... and these guys. i know that latinos often share physical characteristics of caucasians -- but these where some seriously white canadian boys. pretty sure those pants are in style in kitsilano right now, too.

i think a local first nation's creation myth is about a whale that crawls up on shore and turns into a bear. in case you were wondering if that was a whale-bear at the top, bingo.

i love teepees. i have a great teepee story that i should share sometime. my store involves leeches and indiana jones, so it's a good one.

the bay, the ever prestigious department store that has descended from the hudson bay company -- the beaver-pelt trading company and founder of canada proper.

stephen colbert was my greatest olympic moment.

i used to do this with christopher